Thursday, January 20, 2011

berkoyan2 tisu

hari ini kolam mata bertakung lagi. sedihnya memikirkan anak yang ke-3 dalam keluarga meninggal akibat kanser dan dimakamkan berdekatan nenda tercinta. Saya sedang memperkatakan persamaan antara almarhum adik saya dan blogger ini. semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atasnya. Beliau sesungguhnya mempunyai semangat yang kuat seperti aloi, menghadapi kesakitan di tempat yang asing nun jauh dari keluarga. Subhan'Allah.

Kanser adalah penyakit yang paling saya takuti. Ramai ahli keluarga telah meninggal kerananya(i probably have it in my gene).....kemoterapi bukan penyelesaian mutlak dan sungguh pun kitaran kemoterapi telah dihabiskan tiada jaminan kanser tidak akan kembali. Bak kata seorang pakar bedah pediatrik kota bharu......there's no 100% in medicine. Sebenarnya hidup ini penuh dengan ketidakpastian.

Getting the diagnosis
Curiosity and pain bring's you to the hospital. Sample taken, investigation done you'll ponder how's the outcome. Once the result is out you'll be so hysterical about the diagnosis.

Consenting treatment
Cancer treatment is known to be hard-core and aggressive. Nausea, loosing hair and look even sick. It's a moment when you need your loved ones to be around. You need a sister to cook your favorite food, bought a new comic and a mum that will fluff your pillow for you. Actually mom will choose not to be out of your sight. Others will come to your cubicle to make you feel merrier *it works.

Bounce back
when treatment course had finished and the few scan shows you are clear...everyone relieved. We pray so hard so that you won't catch cancer again.

I hate to hear it. It even more irritating when i have to write it on. Family is in denial and i wish i hadn't know much about medicine.

After I read the blog I think i time-traveled. Remembering the final days thinking what else can i do to make things better. Sometimes i'm angry about people who had taken too much of my time....coz my bro got no time.

this is just another day that teach me...don't procrastinate. oh my! assignments loaded.


  1. oh now i got it why that is soo emotional to you...Al-Fatihah to the late Mas Afzal and your late brother...