painful separation

Today it’s been 2 years that u’ve left us, and not a single day goes by that I don’t think about you. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross said there are 5 stages of closure. We call it:

1.       Denial

2.       Anger

3.       Bargain

4.       Depression

5.       Acceptance

Maybe I’ve come to the stage of acceptance since I don’t shed tears while writing this entry. So what’s left for me is a memory and acceptance that those memories cannot be photographed again. I wish I have more pictures of you. Even though I was there…I still wish that I could spend more time with you. Coz the day you're gone, I was about to finish exam and planning to watch sunset together.

I might the fat and funny sister to most people but you’ve turned me into someone that I intended to be….the charming one. Since I’m lacking of acknowledgement right now, things definitely changed. Anyway, I’m always grateful to at least have the chance to cherish a brother like a dream. There’s one thing that bothers me--> am I ever could step foot in oncology ward with clear conscience?

One thing for sure, i enjoy talking and remembering. Thinking about you'd be happy with my prayers makes me excited.  ~Al-Fatihah