Friday, July 29, 2011

Dreaming Capacity

I was a happy child. Lead a bubbly childhood where i went playing around with bugs but not cat coz mom said cat it will worsen my cough. I learnt how to give up the tricycle and make friends, best part of all i got to speak like sarawakian. Its cool! Being part of borneo a place that was totally different from my kampung. When i was child everything seem so easy, go to school, read storybooks then you're top in the class. Dream? I have lots of them
my first passport ever
As i progress to secondary i realize things are not that easy. Have to study and make notes to be excellent. Therefore i never be excellent. I blame it on my adjustment disorder(i wish i could warn myself, prescribe ssri and psycoeducation). I noticed i gain weight a lot during high school despite all the tiring life that i had. Having surrounded by rigid disciplinary life i realize i dont dream anymore. That time i dont know what to believe and wish i would leave the boarding school....soon.

I came to do diploma bc my spm is not good. In upm, i regained dreaming capacity back. I'm able to have a cool life events and socialize better. Idk but having to 'mingle' around cow and goats or even aquaculture creature gives me satisfaction in life. At least i know where my steak came from or kind of stuff do they give to my chicken (which end up in our dinner plate). This was the point of life where being educated and high skilled labor are equally important.

Right now i believe that i should continue dreaming. Viva, medical school- dreamt about it before even though i kept slacking off in high school and feel suxx about my image. The malays idiom says angan2 mat jenin, but if you don't dream you can't even visualize. Therefore causing inability to make a good plan and judgement.

I strongly feel that we must dream. My sis went to one of a workshop 'Law of Attraction from Islamic perspective'. It is surprising that our religion also acknowledge  dreaming/ visualization because its awaken your subconscious mind. It also applied to finding life partner<--that's what i'm talking about.

Currently i'm reading a book from Aldiko....The Secret:Law of Attraction by Daniel Wahlstrom. Just arrived at first chapter. My fav phrase so far....
The Secret is nothing less than the science of how thought interacts with quantum physics to create our experiences. You don't have to understand it. You just have to do it.

xoxo farah AJ 

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